The universe was created last Thursday, and you did it

Some years ago my father, one of the most interesting people I know, created a list of arbitrary subjects, for debating or when conversation lulls. (He hates being bored.)

Me: What’s number 4, Last Thursdayism?

Him: The universe was created last Thursday.

Me (speechless)

Him: It was created chock-full of records of the non-existent past. You know: fossils, historical artifacts, ruins…

Me: But I remember things that happened longer than a week ago.

Him: Ready-made memories came as part of the (new) universe.

Me (walks away)

So much for a flagging conversation…

Since then, I discovered the Church of Last Thursday

They note in their creed that, You, the reader, are the Creator of the universe.

What caught my eye this time was the second-person point of view (POV)  of the doctrine. You created the world, but You don’t remember doing it.

Second-person POV is awkward in fiction

Probably because it addresses the reader directly. Fiction aims to draw us into the story, so we forget we’re reading. In its very directness, second-person POV can be exhortative. It tells the reader what they’ve done or thought. So if the reader isn’t engaged,  it can confront and alienate. Many find it bossy or presumptuous.

Italo Calvino used second-person POV in If on a winter’s night a traveller  (1979). This postmodern classic is clever and witty, as is all his work. But, while at first I was intrigued by the second-person POV, it eventually grew tiresome.

If the universe was created last Thursday…

Then Calvino’s book and the list of arbitrary subjects are among the many artifacts created at that time. Last Thursdayism is an extreme parody of the idea of a Young Earth.

Taking the Bible as the ultimate authority about all reality, the earth cannot be more than 10,000 years old.

Since the earth is young (according to the ultimate source), the scientific methods that determine age are obviously erroneous. (At least over long time periods, though more recent records may be accepted.)

But what if things that appear old were created to appear old

Then it’s impossible to use observations as evidence.

Adam and Eve (1533) by Lucas Cranach the Elder. Photo by Till Niermann via Wikimedia Commons.
Adam and Eve (1533) by Lucas Cranach the Elder. Photo by Till Niermann via Wikimedia Commons. Giovanni di Paolo gave Adam, Eve and even the angel a navel too.

However this radical position isn’t new, nor is it always meant in satire. In 1857, Philip Gosse  argued in Omphalos that the fossil record was created to make the world appear older. The title (the Greek word for navel) refers to the idea that God created Adam and Eve with navels to prove their human ancestry.

Artists usually represent Adam and Eve with navels, like in the 16th century painting by Lucas Cranach the Elder. Of course, that doesn’t constitute evidence.

Can we prove Last Thursdayism is wrong?

Last Thursdayism and Omphalism aren’t scientific premises, as they can’t be falsified— all evidence is tainted by definition. As Stephen Jay Gould said in The Flamingo’s Smile (1987):

Omphalos is the classical example of an utterly untestable notion, for the world will look exactly the same in all its intricate detail whether fossils and strata are prochronic or products of an extended history.

Last Thursdayism is a straw man argument because its exaggeration misrepresents the position it wishes to critique.

Last Thursdayism can be a little zen

Many Eastern philosophies note that the past is gone and the future may not arrive.

There is in each moment only that moment. Our compulsion to plan our next steps, to fantasize about future events or to worry, and the equally common tendency to ruminate about the past can get in the way of appreciating and living the present.

On the other hand, we can be considered a sum of what happened before, as famously expressed by William Faulkner (Requiem for a Nun, 1950):

The past is never dead. It’s not even past.

But just maybe, we aren’t obligated by it.

It might not matter. The universe will end next Thursday. (Or in five minutes.)

What’s your experience with second-person POV? Any books where it really worked? Do you think Faulkner’s right? Do you ever fall into obsessive remembering or worrying? 

And, most importantly: where were YOU last Thursday? 

6 thoughts on “The universe was created last Thursday, and you did it

  1. Thank you for your, “food for thought”!
    It definitely will contribute that your readers, I among them, don’t get bored.
    I enjoyed reading the conversation that you had with my father, given that I’m your brother.
    Congratulations and thank you for what you have done on your blog up to now!
    Looking forward to reading more.

    1. Thanks, Tom! So glad you’re still reading, and recommending. It can be risky to drag family members into one’s posts, but I think it reflected us both fairly truthfully.

  2. As a matter of fact, I can prove Last Thursdayism wrong.
    According to the theory of General Relativity, all matter rests upon the fabric of space, and it distorts it. Albert Einstein said that these distortions were gravity. These distortions travel at the speed of light. According to Newtonian Gravity, even far-away objects affect other objects. Combining these two theories, you can conclude that, if all matter were to be created “last Thursday”, distortions from, say, Alpha Centauri, a star four light years away, gravitational distortions from this massive object couldn’t have traveled here by last Thursday. Yet, on miniscule scale, we feel Alpha Centauri’s gravitational distortions.
    I hope you take this into account.

    1. the universe was created with light already on the way from the stars. everything as it was at precisely 12:00 last thursday was put into place exactly as it was.

    2. You can never really disprove this theory, though. What you’re saying makes sense, don’t get me wrong. But this theory is philosophical, which means it can never be proven or disproved. See, someone could counter your argument by saying that the Universe was created last Thursday and Alpha Centauri’s distortions were already AT Earth when it began. Or close enough that it would reach Earth before next Thursday. For every single argument someone makes about this theory, another person can always just say “Oh, the Universe was just made like that. It still started last Thursday though.” Get what I mean?

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